I've moved. My NEW site: http://www.xanga.com/lulumac

Saying yesterday started out pretty crappy, it ended fairly well. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I really enjoyed work last night. NO SARCASM! I worked with Alysse and I LOVE working with her. We got to talking about our Christianity and what we want in a husband. (Yes, the convo made since and went together nicely.) I got to tell her ALL ABOUT MY TRIP! Plus, I got to think. Like really turn my mind OFF to the world around me and think. I haven't done that in a really long time. Topics: -----An accountability partner. I need one. Not just for sex, but for drinking and smoking too. I really need one. I honestly don't have anyone who asks me anything like that. I normally volunteer it, but the way mine and Sara's relationship is going, I don't even do that anymore. -----I thought about were my life is headed and how I don't see Sara in it. I can't be around her and the temptations that surround her. I don't want to see our relationship go, but I think it's the best thing for me. They all seem like wasted memories now. All the things we've done together and said we are going to do together. I already miss her, but in all actuality she's been gone for a long time. Not only her, but I know I have too. I'm not saying it's her fault, nor mine. We just both want COMPLETELY different things and I think it's best it if slows fades away which is were it's going at 132 mph right now. It seems like I am ending a marriage, but isn't that what a marriage comes from, a strong friendship? I've said it before, I want a marriage like Sara and I had in a friendship: talking for hours every day, have the best time doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, being enough a like to have something to talk about, yet being different enough not to get bored, knowing when we've had to much another and telling each other that, and just wanting to spending time with her. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I bought a book yesterday while wasting time before work. I specifically went into the Storehouse looking for it and I found it! It was recommended by NUMEROUS people to me. I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. I'm halfway through it. I really agree with almost everything he says. They are considered "radical ideas," but I already had them. It talks about waiting on God's timing and He will send you someone, not to waste your time on relationship that you know won't go anywhere, and when you do date, date with marriage in mind. Maybe I can say that because I am "looking/waiting" for a husband. But it's taken a lot to FINALLY be happy with being single. Pursuing friendship is what I have to keep in mind. I want my best friend to be my husband, not my husband to be my best friend. Explanation: I want him to be my best friend before we are married, not after. I recommend the book to ANYONE and EVERYONE! (I plan to read the next book of Harris' Boy Meet Girl: Say Hello to Courtship as soon as I am done with the first.) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The more I talk to Josh, the scarier it gets. I find that we have more and more in common. We talked for over three hours late last night/early this morning. Wow. I am tired. I got to vent on him about my day and he put me in a better mood. Yall know how my mind jumps around a lot. Well so does his. So between the two of us, we never stay on just ONE topic for more than ten minutes. We will be on it, talk about something else for a while, then eventually come back to it. But we never totally stay ONE topic any lengthy amount of time. Yesterday, I really need that! It took my mind off how bad my day had been. (Thank you, Josh on the cheek! ) At the same time, he almost made me cry. He was talking about his "ex-best friend" and why they weren't friends anymore. Josh wanted to change his lifestyle and he couldn't do that being around his friend. Even though they'd been through a lot, for Josh's sake they couldn't hang out anymore with his friend being around the temptation's and they drifted apart. I understood those circumstances perfectly. I don't want to loose Sara at all! At the same time I see us falling further and further away from one another... I guess all I have left to do is pray for her and pray for our relationship. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- And to end on a lighter note, I really like my Xanga site. I don't plan on using my others, yes Blogdrive and MySpace anymore. So this is a notice. NOW ON USE www.xanga.com/lulumac

I now have a Xanga blog.
www.xanga.com/lulumac
Ok so, so much NOT CONFORMING...I now have three online journals, I do plan to fade out THIS ONW though and use my Xanga as my main one...just to let you know! From 20 questions to 200. OK, maybe I exaggerated a little bit on that, but it was close. About 2230 last night, Josh and I start playing 20 questions. We don't know a whole whole lot about one another so, why not?! (Plus it's a great way to ask some off-the-wall or out-of-context question without looking completely insane. ) It ended about 0100, whenever we both decided we might want to get to be since we both had early mornings. It wasn't straight back and forth, either; many questions led into lengthy discussions. The funny thing is, while waiting for my second class to start this morning, I typed up a list of 43 more things and e-mail to him. From my point of view, we get along great and have a lot of the same things in common, yet not. If that makes ANY sense. I don't wanna get my hopes up or anything. Starting out friends is a good start. I just know my luck with guys and if it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all with them. I am REALLY sleepy, so I'm gonna go take a nap! Tutals.